The life of a mentally unwell university student – 17/01/17

Today my mood matches the weather and I feel as gloomy as sin. As I look around my room I can see washing up incomplete, piles of recycling to be taken out, laundry to be put away, DVDs not in their cases and revision sprawled across my desk barely begun.

This is a bad day.

A day where every move I make is overcast by the demons in my brain. A day where no matter how many showers I take and cups of coffee I consume, I just do not feel ‘with it’. I feel lonely despite the 17 unread messages on my phone and copious amounts of people I can always call. I feel a little lost and not even my million to-do lists and diaries can help me find my way back.

So at 6pm today has been written off. I am disappointed I didn’t do everything I’d planned today but it is OK. I will be proud that I did get up, that I washed my laundry, that I did half my washing up, that I did 1.5 hours of revision and I got through today.

Today this is enough.

I will now cook a wholesome meal, put on a cheesy film, drink lots of water and have an early night.

Tomorrow will be kinder. Tomorrow will be a fresh start.

 

 

Note: This is massive risk to take and one I am unsure of. I am (contemplating) beginning a series on my blog titled ‘the life of a mentally unwell university student’. It is not all doom and gloom to clarify but I feel the reality of what is it like should be shared. It will feature diary entries of both good and bad days. I am being the most open I have ever been and essentially baring my soul so please kind. I am unsure if I will write this one post and then leave it or if I will undertake it as a series as I intend to. I am also aware that I have family members on Facebook (where my blog posts are shared) and here I ask that you either do not read my posts or if you do treat them with ignorance – I am not making these posts for sympathy and I have all the support I could possibly need (I know you’re all there when I need you) and I am so lucky for that. This is just my two pence to help break the stigma of mental illness and share the reality.